I love you.
It's graduation season and the city is filled with young people with great fashion sense. They are wearing masks matching their hakama. Days go by so fast and comments like “It seems like they just started school” can be heard everywhere.
At the grade school where my 2nd grade son attends, there was a class themed “Us who grew up”. It's a wonderful initiative to feel the growth of the children (although they are still young) by interviewing them while showcasing their photos when they were babies. Also some parents (or a guardian figure) wrote a letter to their children and read them.
As usual, I wrote this just before it was due and as he said “You have to submit it tomorrow~”, I hurriedly wrote the letter last night. As I was reading it, I felt that it was linked to the message I wanted to convey in my mental health and stress management activities, so I thought to introduce it by changing the names.
＝＝I love you＝＝＝
I really like you
Thank you for giving me energy
Thank you for teaching me what you learned
Thank you for always helping me
Thank you for saying you will take care of me even if you grow up
But even if you don't do that, Mommy loves you.
No matter how selfish or having difficulty with studies, I love you no matter what
This world you live in is full of mysteries.
But there are also a lot of exciting, fun, heart-beating and happy things that can happen
I want you to see those with your own eyes, to feel it with your heart, and to enjoy it.
And in the same way, there will be unpleasant things, bad things, painful things, and lonely things
But it doesn't last forever.
There will always be a time when it will become easier.
Time can get difficult, but it always leads to good things. It's about making you stronger, and thanks to that, you can find something good.
You may not understand it very much now, but as you grow up, the time will come when you will understand this, so please remember.
The life you are living in now is yours.
Yours, not anyone else's.
So just do what you want.
When you want to do something, it’s not about “what will people think about me?”
It’s about thinking about what you want to do, choose that thought
Then I think you can live more happily.
And this is a request from mom.
I want you to grow up to be a person who will want to help when you see someone in trouble
And I want you to do what you can.
Humans can't live alone.
Many people have been helping each other since you were born.
Family, distant relatives, school, teachers, friends, neighbors, train station conductors, shop keepers, the people that made the vegetables and meat that you would eat today, and the delivery man, the cateria cook - they all had help.
Anyone who can do what you can do is helping you.
Maybe at school you are taught not to disturb others. But I think that humans are already living by disturbing others. Especially when you are a child, there are so many things you can’t do so I secretly believe that you can be troublesome.
Because you will grow up being bothersome to a lot of people and getting their help, when you grow up I want you to happily help someone who is in trouble. I want you to help people change with the knowledge you were given.
Because if you live like that, a happy circle will form around you like a hula hoop and you’re life will gradually become warm and fun.
My heart warms whenever I see you sleep and wake up
You are so precious to me
Thank you for making me feel this way
Thank you for coming to this world
Thank you so much for being born
Since I wrote it in the middle of the night, I kept writing, and I ended up with five pages ...
My son, who received a letter from his teacher at school, said, "It was embarrassing because there were five pages.”
Of course it’s difficult to be like the mom in the letter, and instead become this monster who yells at my son to do his homework. Even if I'm exhausted looking like a dirty rag, I shoo away my mercilessly spoiled boy with a disgusting face, extremely regretting it later.
But I know that you cherish the person not because they can do certain things well (like studying), but you appreciate them for who they are and they foster a sense of self-affirmation. That’s why I remember to tell him that I’m sorry and that I love him after I yell at him.
Because I know that the world is created of balance, I would like to occasionally convey that even if something painful or sad happens, that will become a source of energy and life will change for the better.
I know that if you can take good care of yourself and feel more comfortable focusing on what you want to do instead of judging yourself for it, it will be easier to live.
I encourage you to value what you want to do rather than what others will think.
And if you live helping others, your life will be enriched. We are living in a difficult time, but I hope you will not forget to communicate with others. While living in America, I thought it was beautiful that they would say I love you a lot, something you don’t see in Japan. (Although I found out by watching American Beauty that it’s not necessarily coming from the truth). Japanese people are shy and are embarrassed to honestly convey their feelings, but they will never understand if you don’t put them into words.
I know I become a monster sometimes, but even more so I believe it’s important to say “You are important” , ”I love you” even if it’s embarrassing.